


Deep Inside

by pipisafoat



Series: Deep Inside [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-13
Updated: 2005-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-19 07:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipisafoat/pseuds/pipisafoat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ginny's POV. Her fifth year. She remembers each year of her life starting at age nine. In a parallel plot, Ginny discovers powers, Crookshanks gets petted, and Harry stays in the Hospital Wing but isn't hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nine Years Old: Best Friend and Brother

Ginny Weasley sighed. Hogwarts was really such a good place. She had never felt quite right leaving this school, even if she was going home. This was no exception.

Her least favorite part of leaving was packing. Her things were never where they belonged. Just when she thought she was almost through, she realized this time, she had forgotten her poem book.

This was no ordinary poem book. It took the words she quilled in and made them look published. She only had one poem in it, and it was untitled. She had started it the year before Ron started at Hogwarts. A new stanza or two was added each year, documenting the most major things of that year.

Ginny stared off into space for a moment, then shook herself out of it. 'Get ahold of yourself, Weasley! Just read the stupid thing!' She slowly peeled back the green cover, but not before breathing in the leather scent. She had always had a weakness for leather. Then she began to read the words on the page.

**Have you ever had a brother one year older than you?  
** **Have you ever had him love you and protect you?  
 **Have you ever loved him with your whole heart?  
 **This is how I feel.**** **

She remembered that year. One year before Ron went off to Hogwarts, two before she did. Her aunt, Samantha Weasley, had sent it to her - being the only girl did have its advantages after all. She remembered her mum explaining it to her.

_"Now, Ginny, this is a very special present, and it's just for you. Your dad's sister Samantha said that since you are the youngest, and the only girl, you deserve something like this to be your own," Mum had said._

_"All for me, Mum?" Ginny had asked. In her nine years, she had only rarely had something that wasn't somebody else's, too. "Ron's not gonna share it too? It's all for me?" When her mum had nodded yes, Ginny opened it, the flipped the pages. Disappointment obvious, she asked, "What is it, Mum? What does it do?"_

_Her mum had explained it like this, "It's a little bit like a diary. You write in it, but then it will take what you've quilled in and make it look like it was printed in a book. But once you put something in it, it's there basically for forever."_

_"Wow, Mum! Aunt Samantha is the coolest! Can we visit her sometime so I can thank her?" Ginny piled on the 'baby girl' act. It worked._

_"Well, okay, if it's alright with your father, I will see about her coming here for dinner sometime."_

* * *

_"Ginny?" her mum yelled up the stairs. "Aunt Samantha's coming for dinner tonight. She said she wants to see what you've written in the book. She'll be here in two hours; I want you cleaned up and ready to greet her at six o'clock!"_

_Ginny scrambled around on her desk for a quill, some parchment, and the still empty Publishing Book. She thought about what she wanted to write, and decided to start a poem. It would reflect her life, starting now. Too bad nothing special had happened to her this year. All she had done was work with her mum around the house (ugh) and play with Ronnie, er, Ron. (He hated the nickname now, but still let Ginny call him that sometimes.) She should write the stanza about her brother. She had several false starts before she finally came up with a starting line..._

_**Have you ever had a brother one year older than you?** _

_After several more tries and lots of worrying, Ginny decided that it didn't have to rhyme. Just before she had to get downstairs to greet Aunt Samantha, Ginny scribbled four lines into her new book. She snapped it closed without looking at it, tossed the quill onto the bed, and raced downstairs just in time for Aunt Samantha's knock on the door._

_After dinner, she asked to see it. Ginny handed the book to her, and sat down beside her aunt to see the changes. It was beautiful. While it still looked like her handwriting, the Publishing Book had evolved it into something majestic. Her handwriting looked like that of a queen. She knew that for the rest of her life, she would strive to be able to write like that._

_While Ginny was busy rhapsodizing over her handwriting, Aunt Samantha had read the stanza. She turned to Ginny, saying, "My dear Ginny, this is beautiful. Am I right in saying that you plan to add to this for the next several years?"_

_"Yes, Aunt Samantha," replied Ginny, "I'd like it to reflect the most important parts of my life so I can look at it when I'm old and remember what I did. There just wasn't a whole lot to write yet."_

_Aunt Samantha smiled and replied, "This is perfect, so beautiful and straight from your heart. You have a knack for writing. I would very much like to see this when you have written more, if that's okay with you."_

_"Of course."_

_Aunt Samantha closed the green leather cover and patted it gently. She suddenly looked confused and said, "Keep this safe, Ginny. It will prove more valuable then you know now. Keep it close and never be afraid of it. Just remember, it was here first and you won't let anyone make you give it up, physically or emotionally." Her face softened back into its normal condition. She looked slightly puzzled, and shook her head as if to clear it. She looked at Ginny's confused face, and then said, "You must really love that brother of yours. He's one special kid, from what I've read." Sh turned to face Ron and said quite severely, "You had better not ruin your sister's trust, young man. The two of you have a bond I can't quite understand. Keep it in good condition and both of your lives will be happier than if you don't."_

_Ron and Ginny both looked at her, confused in the brain but understanding in their hearts. Aunt Samantha did have Seer blood, after all. She just might know something they didn't._


	2. Ten Years Old: Goodbye, Ron

Ginny was startled out of her memories by a loud purring somewhere around her ankles. Crookshanks, Hermione Granger's cat, was twining himself around her legs. She bent down to pet him.

"Oh, Crookshanks, you scared me! What are you doing here anyway? Hermione too busy with her packing for you?" Crookshanks leapt onto Ginny's bed, fixing her with a stare until she curled up with him and resumed petting duties. "You're right, it is more comfortable up here. Now can I read the next year's writing?" She giggled when Crookshanks bobbed his head, and she reoped her poem book.

**Have you ever had your brother go away?**  
 **Have you ever missed him so much you cried?**  
 **Have you ever cried all your tears out for him?**  
 **This is how I feel.**

_It had started the moment a pompous-looking barn owl had flown in the window with an envelope bearing 'Mr. R. Weasley, The Pantry, The Burrow...' Mum had been furious at first. "What were you doing out of bed at indecent hours? And in the pantry, no less! You're too old to need food late at night! How on Earth will you survive at Hogwarts?" Then her expression had softened, and she began to plan the trip to Diagon Alley._

_Then came the day he left. She had been so quiet since Ron's letter had come that Fred and George had actually asked her seriously if she was okay. She was more herself by the time they got to the station, but still not talking much. She watched as Percy strode confidently through the barrier, and as Fred and George raced each other through. Nothing new there, they'd been doing that for years. Then, just before Ron went through (his first time with luggage!), a strange boy had pushed his trolley to them, approaching her mum politely. Looking him over out of curiosity, she stopped and looked closer. His black hair was out of order, as though he hadn't had time to even think about brushing it. When his green eyes swept over her, she managed to catch them with her own blue eyes. They had been a bit confused originally at trying to figure out where the platform was, but they understood now. He nodded slightly at her, doing no more than unconsciously acknowledging her presence. She knew in a flash that this was Harry Potter, but he wasn't the famous Boy-Who-Lived. He was just a wizard kid, new to the world he had saved. She knew also, in that same flash, that he would need loyal friends by his side for the years to come. She didn't question how she knew; Seer blood was in her veins after all. Not strongly enough for a vision, but she knew. She also knew that she could have him one day. Just as long as she didn't blow it now._

_She was startled out of her discoveries by Harry going through the barrier at a full-tilt run, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. She smiled slightly, enjoying her own private joke. He stops the most evil wizard of our time at age one, but ten years later he's afraid to go onto Platform 9 3/4. Mum sent Ron through, and followed on his heels with Ginny's forearm in her hand._

_The last goodbyes had been harder than usual, knowing she would be alone when she got back. The twins promised Mum (and Ginny) to look after Ron, Percy promised to look after them all and keep them out of trouble (yeah right). Ron had nudged Ginny away from the group to tell her he wouldn't let Percy be too much of a prick. She laughed, then sobered. "Ron?"_

_"Yeah Gin?"_

_"That was Harry. Harry Potter. Be his friend, Ron. Be his best friend. He's going to need it, going to need you. Stay with him, and keep him alive."_

_He looked at her. Then understanding went through his face. "You...know this, right? Like Aunt Samantha's stuff?"_

_"Yeah. I don't understand it, but I know. Will you?"_

_"I'll do my best. And you?"_

_She studied his face to check for his honesty. "Yeah. I need to be his friend too. It will take longer from me, but I'll do it eventually."_

_He hugged her tight and said "I'll miss you Gin. Write me and tell me how things are at home?"_

_"If you write about school, and Harry. Now remember, we don't know that he's Harry Potter. Okay? This conversation never happened."_

_He grinned and replied, "What conversation? We were talking about owling each other."_

_"Right."_

Ginny realised with a start that not only had her hand ceased petting, but Crookshanks had left her and was going out the door down towards the common room. Debating with herself, she said out loud, "I don't know, kid, maybe later."

A head full of bushy brown hair poked in the door. "Who are you talking to?"

Ginny blushed slightly. "I, uh, well, Crookshanks."

"What are you doing in here all alone that would have you talking to my cat?" asked the older girl as she sat on Ginny's bed.

"Just looking in this - it's a sort of diary thing. I've had it since I was nine," answered the redhead.

Hermione looked at her shrewdly. "What year are you up to now?"

"My first year here." Ginny shivered slightly.

"It's cold up here. Come down to the Common Room and sit with me for a while by the fire. Okay?" The studious prefect was chewing on her lip and watching her friend worriedly.

"Sure."


	3. Eleven Years Old: Young and Possessed

Hermione and Ginny headed for two squishy armchairs, close together and secluded, by the fire.

"Ginny," asked the ever inquisitive Hermione, "Is that a Publishing Book?" When Ginny nodded, the sixth year continued excitedly. "Ooh, those are rare and so cool. Do you write in it like a diary, or short stories, or poems, or what?"

"Well, it's a poem. I've added a couple stanzas each year since I got it. I'm rereading it from the beginning since I haven't in a while. It...um...brings back memories. Do you want me to read some out loud to you?"

"That'd be wonderful, Gin, and if you're up to it, I'd love to hear a bit of your memories too. No interruptions, I promise." Hermione was positively glowing in anticipation.

Ginny opened the cover a little bit reverently. "I'll just start where I left off then. This will be my first year year here at Hogwarts, your second.

**"Have you ever been the youngest of seven?**   
**"Have you ever been starting at a new school?**   
**"Have you ever had such big shoes to fill?**   
**"This is how I feel.**

" _When I first started at Hogwarts - actually for the first couple of years - nobody knew me for me. I was always 'the Weasley girl' or whoever's 'little sister'. And everybody was expecting me to be as serious as Percy, or as much fun as the twins, or as athletic as Charlie ... Nobody knew me for me. For the longest time, I thought I needed to fill those shoes. But now I just make my own shoes, or go barefoot._ " Ginny flashed a quick grin at her older friend.

**"Have you ever poured out your heart to a diary?**  
 **"Have you ever been possessed by an evil Dark Lord?**  
 **"Have you ever had it so bad you tried suicide?**  
 **"This is how I feel.** "

Ginny was quiet for a minute. "Hermione, you can't tell this to anyone, not even Ron. I've only told Harry, because he needed to know he wasn't the only one. I'm just not ready for anybody else to know.

" _I felt so bad, right before he took me. I had just figured out what he was doing with me. It was all my fault for not noticing before. I tried to kill myself because of it. 'Us!' I said. 'Kill him too!' But Tom wouldn't let me._ I tried so hard, Hermione!" The last sentence was practically a yell, overflowing with magical powers and pent-up emotions. All the ink bottles in the Common Room burst, causing many to look up once in disgust at the noise, then again at the ink. Ginny took no heed of them, her voice dropping to a whisper. " _Tom said I wasn't allowed to die. He...he...he took me in the Chamber as a punishment for trying to hurt us. But the worst part was..."_ Tears were streaming down her face, unnoticed. " _...it was Percy's fault. I was going to talk to Harry and Ron and see what they said to do. He scared me off at breakfast, telling Harry and Ron I didn't have anything important to say._ " Ginny suddenly howled her agony in a burst of more powerful magic than anyone but Harry could summon, more powerful than anything she could control. Every window in Hogwarts shattered despite their enchantments, and wards went down, setting off all kinds of alarms.

Dumbledore apparated into the Gryffindor Common Room moments later to see just what had happened.


	4. Interlude: Albus Dumbledore

That was the second most powerful magic I have ever witnessed. Both times it was from a sixteen-year-old student, uncontrolled, and causing many headaches. I had learned enough from Harry's experiences to know that the only thing that cause a "Magic Cracker" is a very powerful witch or wizard releasing a strong emotion that has been pent-up for too long.

I knew it had originated from the Gryffindor Common Room, but I had just checked on Harry and he was in his dormitory. As soon as I apparated in the room (It was a quite effective Magic Cracker.), I looked around to see who had dne such massive accidental magic. I saw Hermione Granger bending over someone on the floor, and realised that it was Ginevra Weasley!

I swept over to them, issuing hurried instructions on the way. "Mr. Thomas, get Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, now. Ms. Patil, get Professor Flitwick. Brown, McGonagall. Longbottom, Pomfrey. Granger, a pillow." I knelt beside Ginevra Weasley. "Are you okay, Ms. Weasley?"

"I feel weak, Professor," she said softly. I nodded.

"That is only to be expected," I replied. "You just performed a perfect example of what Harry decided to call a Magic Cracker. You cracked several wards around Hogwarts. Some are completely demolished, but others are easily fixed. The Anti-Apparation ward will have to be completely redone. However, I must thank you for your accidental consideration. All the protective wards are still in place, if cracked slightly. I am not too worried."

Hermione put a pillow under Ginevra's head. "Professor, don't the cracked wards make us vulnerable to attack?"

"Yes, they do. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick will start the repair immediately. I trust you can find some highly gifted students to assist them? Yourself included, of course."

She nodded.

"Good. When they get here, I will ask how many they want. Then it's your job to round up deputies."

"Thank you Professor."

Harry and Ronald came sprinting over, tumbling over a couch that was in their way. I moved back, knowing Ginevra was no longer in serious danger of anything beyond exhaustion and a worried brother.

Much as I try to stay out of the love lives of my students, I have always kept a particularly close eye on Harry, Ginevra, Ronald, and Hermione. I was waiting for the other prophecy to be fulfilled, Ginevra's prophecy. I thought it could happen tonight. But the prophecy is another story. Now, it was time to watch how the students interacted.

Ronald went to Ginevra, asking, "You okay then, Gin?" When she said, "Alive, Ron," he went to Hermione to ask what had happened. As she began to explain just what had happened, I turned the other half of my mind to Harry and Ginevra.

"Ginny, are you sure you're okay?" he asked worriedly, checking over her for major injuries. Upon finding none, he looked her in the eyes, and repeated, "You're sure you're fine?"

"Just tired, Harry, that's all."

"I'll stay here and make sure, alright?"

"Fine." Her eyes closed, and I heard a small noise of triumph from my left. Sure enough, Ronald was grinning ear to ear. "She's really gonna be okay," he whispered to Hermione. "Her dreams are on their way to coming true, too. Harry and I had a little talk, and he's finally come to his senses."

Hermione smiled, but sadly. Tears started to form in her eyes. "Ron..."

"Shh." He wrapped his arms around her. "Don't cry, Hermione. Harry's not the only one to come to his senses recently. I reckon sometimes you just can't see what's right in front of your face. She leaned into his embrace, her smile brightening.

"Love you, Ron. For years."

"Same here, love."

I suddenly noticed two things. One, I was staring like the first years. Two, someone was trying to get my attention.

"Huh?" I said, most eloquently. Hear the sarcasm. "Yes, Harry?"

"Headmaster? May I go to the Hospital wing, too?"

I chuckled. "This is the first time anyone's ever asked me if they can go to the Hospital Wing."

"I want to be with Ginny. I know how this is. If she wants someone to talk to, I want to be there for her. It's hell to wake up and want to talk about why but nobody's there. Please, Professor."

"It's Poppy's Hospital, ask her," I reply.

She butts in. "The boy wants to stay overnight, Albus."

"I don't see a problem with it. Do you have two beds available?" I ask, hoping she'll understand what I'm trying to communicate. I want them to be together tonight, but not like that, get your mind out of the gutter! However, it is her Hospital Wing, and if she thinks it'll be too much trouble, I don't want her to feel forced.

She seems to consider my questions, asked and unasked. "Yes, I do. Come along, Potter, Weasley. I'll send a house-elf for your clothes."

"If I'm no longer needed here," I say to nobody in particular, "I'll just go meet with Minerva and Filius."

Poppy gave me a general 'go ahead, whatever' wave, already distracted in another argument with Harry. I twinkle at her (yes, I can control it) and then turn towards Minerva and Filius.

"My good professors, it seems we have some work ahead of us..."


	5. Twelve Years Old: Thanks For Helping

Ginny batted off Madam Pomfrey's hands. "I'm fine! This is ridiculous. I'm tired is all! I don't need a stretcher to get to the Hospital Wing, and I don't need you hovering around me like I'm about to die!"

Harry laid a hand on her arm to save Madam Pomfrey's neck. "Gin, hush. Madam Pomfrey, why don't you go on back to the Hospital Wing to get it ready for us? I will escort Ms. Weasley and be sure she takes it easy. Don't worry, I can handle her," he said, putting on his most wining smile. Ginny watched as the kindly matron relented, bustling around gathering her things before exiting through the portrait hole.

Ginny jumped as she felt a hand around her waist. Harry whispered in her ear, "Lean on me, walk slowly, and act a little weak." She nodded and they started out of the Common Room. She expected the hand to move as soon as they were out of the portrait hole, because she knew Harry didn't like her like that. He was only looking out for his best mate's little sister, his friend. He had gone through this before, he said, and he wanted her to have someone to talk to.

When the portrait closed, Harry's hand remained where it was. With a gentle push, he increased their speed, but headed for an empty classroom rather than the Hospital Wing they were supposed to go to.

He steered them in it, unaware of the thoughts his hand sent her to. She loved him so much, but he didn't return it... She recalled her second year at Hogwarts, and her brothers' 'help'...

* * *

_The four youngest Weasleys took a detour on the way to The Leaky Cauldron during their stay in Diagon Alley. Ginny was kind of nervous, mostly because the twins were being serious. What was so important and so secret that they had to go this way?_

_"Ginny," began Fred, "We have noticed that seem to be attracted to our friend."_

_"That's not going to turn out good for you," continued George._

_"Because," Ron added, "I know he isn't ready for anything like that. He's only thirteen!"_

_"What we're trying to say is that..." George trailed off, hopeless._

_"Harry is not the person for you to, uh," Fred helped._

_"Fancy." George looked pleased for coming up with the missing word. "Yet. Ever, maybe. Mum..."_

_"Would be ever so pleased to marry her little girl off to Harry Potter"_

_"But he's not ready"_

_"For you"_

_"Yet."_

_Ro jumped in. "So the point is, we're going to help you. We've decided that if you..."_

_"Have no chance to be around him"_

_"Then you might hopefully not like him"_

_"Shut up you two!" said Ron, looking affronted. Two years with Hermione had taught him what this meant, so he used the look as often as possible. Even when he meant annoyed. "Point is, we're going to keep you away from him for a while. To help you. Maybe in the future we'll set you up with him, but not yet, okay?"_

_They took her wordless mouthing as agreement._

* * *

"Ginny? You dropped this." Harry put her Publishing Book in her hand. She flipped to the next page and silently read the words she had written that year.

**Have you ever loved so much it made you hurt?**   
**Have you ever hurt so much your insides crumpled?**   
**Have you ever been denied a chance with your love?**   
**This is how I feel.**

She was suddenly aware of Harry's hand still residing quite comfortably on her waist. He sat her down in a chair as she snapped her book closed, striving to put the memories behind her and concentrate on Harry, who was removing his hand finally. He sat on a desk across from her.

"Gin, Can I ask you something?" he asked hesitantly.

She wondered what was up, but nodded for him to go on.

"Have you given up on me?" He looked at the floor, at he walls, anywhere but at her.

Whatever she had expected, it certainly hadn't been this. "Oh, Harry," she tried to explain, "you can't really give up on love. One day, you think, one day he might come around. One day, he might love you back. One day..." She sighed. "Why?"

He ignored her question. "But what about Michael Corner, Neville, Dean, Seamus, Colin, even Dennis Creevey and Euan Abercrombie? If you hadn't given up on me then..."

"To distract myself," she cut in. "To distract myself form the painful reality that was you. So I could get to know you as a friend without you feeling pressured. So Gred and Forge would stop bothering me. That's why. So why do you ask?" She was determined to make him say what was on his mind. If he had finally noticed her...he had to say it.

"Because, well, I reckon I love you, Gin. Ever since last year...I love you. But I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable about it, so I waited. It just felt right now." He finally looked at her, his eyes full of love and pleading with her to understand.

She nodded and reached out to him. "Oh, Harry, I love you too."

Hugging, they eventually rose to continue towards the Hospital wing.


	6. Thirteen Years Old: Vague and Confused

Harry and Ginny went the rest of the way to the Hospital Wing using several shortcuts Harry knew of to make up for lost time. The kindly matron met them at the door.

"There you are, and not a moment too soon! I was about to go off looking for you myself." Her eyes took in Harry's arm around Ginny's waist, and Ginny's head leaning slightly on Harry's shoulder. "Poor dear, you must be exhausted. I never should have agreed to that insanity. Come on, over here, lay down," she said, misunderstanding the situation completely.

Chuckling softly, Harry led Ginny to the bed Madam Pomfrey indicated. He then closed the curtains and waited for Ginny to get her pajamas on before slipping back in. Madam Pomfrey conjured up another bed beside Ginny's for him.

"Now, Mr. Potter, since Professor Dumbledore allowed this, I had no choice, really. And I do trust you. But in accordance with school rules, I will now cast the Virgin Alarm Charm on Ms. Weasley. I don't believe I need to explain it to you, do I?"

Harry stuttered, "Erm...Yes, I mean no, Madam Pomfrey. I understand, thanks." Ginny's ears turned the typical Embarrassed Weasley Red. Madame Pomfrey chuckled.

"Drink this, dear," she said, handing Ginny a potion. "It will give you your strength back. Now be sure you get some sleep, and that goes for both of you!"

Once the two of them were alone, Harry decided to bring up the book. "Gin? What's the book you have with you?" he asked, rolling onto his side to face her.

She rolled as well, facing him. "It's a Publishing Book. They're pretty rare."

"Hermione's told me about them before."

"I got it the Christmas I was nine years old. I've written a stanza of a poem in it every year. I'm rereading it, at my third year here now. Would you like to hear some?"

He nodded, handing her the book from the bedside table. She flipped it open.

" **Have you ever felt so much younger?**  
" **Have you ever felt so left out?**  
" **Have you ever been so scared?**  
" **This is how I feel.**

"This…That year I felt so much younger than all my brothers. I was too young to go to the Yule Ball without an invitation, too young to hang out with you guys, too young for anything I wanted to do. That was what made me feel left out.

"I was scared for you, Harry. All the stuff you were going through: all the challenges, the whole school hating you, I didn't know how you were going to make it through the year! I was so scared for your life…" she broke off, taking a deep breath.

"But I lived through it, somehow," Harry said.

"That is not the point," she replied. "If you hadn't, I would never have gotten to know you in any way at all. Not even as a friend. That summer, I pledged that I would do what I had to so we could be friends. I had to pretend I was over you, and I proved it with all my "boyfriends" over the past two years."

"All that to be my friend?" asked Harry, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

"Well, yeah. You were important to me. Still are. But that's basically the next installment in the poem. You want to hear it too?"

Madame Pomfrey interrupted. "Maybe he does, and maybe he doesn't, but either way he'll have to wait until morning because the two of you are going to sleep now!"

Harry looked at her and suddenly looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. Ginny leaned over.

"What's so funny?" she whispered.

"The look on her face," he answered. "It looks like Norbert when he had just sneezed."

Ginny snorted at that before she could help it. That of course set Harry off into fits of giggles…No I'm just kidding! Don't kill the author! He guffawed loudly.

The two of them were laughing for so long that Madam Pomfrey was forced to use "Silencio" to get some peace.


	7. Fourteen Years Old: Hating, Learning, and Proving

Ginny woke up to a soft caress on her cheek. With her eyes closed, she mumbled "Good morning, Harry. Where's Madam Pomfrey?"

Harry chuckled softly. "Morning, Gin. She hasn't shown her face here yet. Too early, I guess."

"And what time would it be that it's too early for her?" asked Ginny, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Harry showed her his watch. In the dim light of the Hospital Wing, she saw that the slightly illuminated face read 4:30. "Is that right? Harry, why are you up so early?"

He looked away from her. "Yeah, its right. Couldn't sleep."

"Tom again?"

"No, it wasn't Voldemort. I was just thinking about your poem, how you can go back to every year and remember what was the most important thing to you. I was thinking about what mine would be about for each year. And..." pause "Yeah. That's all."

"You still feel guilty, don't you." It wasn't a question. It was obvious he felt guilty. "Well, so do I. I'm still guilty from my first year. I messed up, Harry. But I learned from my mistakes. I'm still guilty from last year too, though. Not the same way you feel, but still guilty. As I sat there with my broken ankle, unable to do anything for you, I felt guilty. Guiltier than before, because this time I had forced you into taking me along. But now I was just something else you had to take care of. What if Tom had come by? Would I have been able to take care of myself, or would I be another reason for you to be alone and feel guilty? And I still wonder if he would have recognized me. Does he have the memories of the Chamber of Secrets? If so, he could just hurt our side worse. I knew more than I should have at that age, and I wonder if he knows any of it."

Harry stopped her. "I don't know. But it doesn't matter. Not anymore. What's done is done. You can't do anything about it now. No use saying "what if" all the time. I've finally decided I've had enough of it myself. But just remember you can't change the past."

"Yeah...I had thought I was so ready. I had the desire to fight, to beat those scumbags. All my memories of the Tom from the diary had made me see how evil he really is. I had to do my part to get rid of that.

"Harry, I don't know what you know of him, his soul or whatever, but I think I know him better than anyone else, except maybe Dumbledore. Harry, there's no hope for him at all. He's evil to the bone. When he underwent his transformations, he did Dark magic to be sure he could never let anything as small as compassion get in the way of his takeover. It was irreversible, Harry. He can't love or trust anything, not even his followers or himself. When it comes down to it, when his Death Eaters see that the end is coming, and they can gain nothing staying with him, they'll all either surrender, kill themselves, or turn to the Order for safety. With the possible exception of those who are truly insane, of course. But there's no love or trust in those ranks. Nobody to watch his back, nobody to take a curse for him so he can keep fighting. Nobody to help him defend himself.

"But on our side, we have love and trust. We all have someone to watch our backs, someone who will take the curse for us so the people who are the most needed, the best, can keep fighting, can win the battle. Someone to help us when we're desperate. Someone to save our lives.

"That will be Tom's undoing. That's how we'll win. He'll aim a curse at you or Dumbledore, but someone else, someone small and insignificant in his eyes, will jump out and take it so the two of you can finish the job. He has no idea about the concept of compassion, of such love that we would die to save someone. That is how we will beat Tom."

There was a moment of silence as Ginny let this sink in before she continued.

"I was ready to fight, Harry. I wanted to, and I was ready. I knew a lot of curses. None of them would kill, but most would at least distract a Death Eater, some hurting them. I know now that we'll never really be ready, but we were pretty good. I was so much more ready then than I was a year before. I felt like I had something to prove, too. I wasn't eleven anymore, and I had to show them that I had learned from my mistakes. I had to prove I was worthy of what I wanted, of what I needed to do. And I was finally ready to prove it.

"So that's why I wrote what I did last year, as well as the best motivational speech I could think of for you." Ginny grabbed the Publishing Book and read out loud.

**"Have you ever hated Tom like I do?**   
**"Have you ever felt so ready to fight him?**   
**"Have you ever had to prove yourself at 15?**   
**"This is how I feel."**

Harry nodded. "That...You have a way with words, Ms. Weasley."

"And you have a way with curses, Mr. Potter. Please take that as a compliment."

He laughed at the last sentence before moving on to the next chapter of his life.


	8. Fifteen Years Old: Reality Is Better Than A Dream

Harry reached for her hand. "Ginny, have you written this year's…verse/stanza/thing?"

She smiled mischievously. "Well, I'd ask for a quill, but I have to think about what's good enough to write about first."

Harry handed her a quill and released her hand so she could write. "Yeah, I can't think of ANYTHING good for you to write about…" His voice died off in peals of laughter. Ginny gave him an odd look.

"It isn't that funny, Harry," she said.

"No, its just that its not even five in the morning and we've have a talk about guilt, killing Voldemort, and what good thing has happened this year."

Ginny saw the humor, then realized what exactly she wanted to write about. "That's it!" she cried, and started writing on a spare bit of parchment frantically.

When Harry tried to see what she was writing, she smacked him lightly on the head with her Publishing Book, then handed it to him. "Here, read the other years while you wait for me, okay?" She tuned out before he replied.

A couple minutes later, she snatched the book out of his grasp and scrawled four lines into it. She then showed it to Harry.

**Have you ever dreamed of one person so much?**   
**Have you ever had you one and only make your dreams reality?**   
**Have you ever felt this much love deep inside your heart?**   
**This is how I feel.**

"You picked this to write about over everything else that has happened this year?" he asked, happy disbelief in his eyes.

Ginny smiled somewhat seductively. "What else has happened this year?"

Harry nodded in agreement, then captured Ginny's mouth with his to express his love for her and his thanks for being her one and only, her poem subject.


End file.
